The Expenses of an Urban Slave

Car Insurance, so the Po-Pos won’t tow my ride again: $123
Rent, so I won’t have to move back to my Mama’s Couch: $1100
Internet, so I can delet Penis Enlargement emails in my Inbox: $60
Cell Phone, so I can text message people I don’t want to talk to: $50
Cable, so I can watch Flavor Flav set Black people back 50 years: $65
Car note, so I can avoid musty, overly friendly people on the bus: $247
Sallie Mae, because they tricked me: Deferment
The LA Superior Court, because parking in a Handicap spot when you can walk fine offends people: $300
Being a severely broke, upstanding American Citizen: Priceless

poem by Hiram Sims
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

The Blackberry is really essential for keeping up on my emails when I'm out of the office, which is a lot.

quote by David Neeleman
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

What's in your heart?

Send me an email
Please tell me what's in your heart
My friend, without fail

poem by Asif Andalib
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

You Don't Read My Mail

The day I knew you don’t read my mail
I stopped sending them
The wind ceased blowing on my sail,
There was no fun playing the game!
I wrote it all for you
With you and only you in view
I filled them with all I had,
But I failed, it was too bad!
I thought all you would treasure
With understanding and a little pleasure
And indulgently you would wait
If ever my mails were late!
See how I lost the one-sided game
My mails, you never opened them
It made me sad, a little pained,
the world seemed dry, my eyes rained!

poem by Pradip Chattopadhyay
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Diamonds In The Mine

The woman in blue, shes asking for revenge,
Man in white -- thats you -- says he has no friends.
The river is swollen up with rusty cans
And the trees are burning in your promised land.
And there are no letters in the mailbox,
And there are no grapes upon the vine,
And there are no chocolates in the boxes anymore,
And there are no diamonds in the mine.
Well, you tell me that your lover has a broken limb,
You say youre kind of restless now and its on account of him.
Well, I saw the man in question, it was just the other night,
He was eating up a lady where the lions and christians fight.
And there are no letters in the mailbox
And there are no grapes upon the vine,
And there are no chocolates in the boxes anymore,
And there are no diamonds in the mine.
(you tell them now)
Ah, there is no comfort in the covens of the witch,
Some very clever doctor went and sterilized the bitch,
And the only man of energy, yes the revolutions pride,

[...] Read more

song performed by Leonard Cohen
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

My Dog Died...

My dog died;
Was lifted straight to heaven
Through the holy gate
How I knew I hear you ask
You, my ever doubting Thomas!
Believe; he only mailed!

An e-dog? Yes, why not?
For a dog in the heaven
Is far better off than you me
Or any dog else on this earth...

So listen now; I mailed back:
How come you in heaven?
Ask the angels to know
And get back to me soon

In return my dog mailed:
Master! I was told
On the earth with

[...] Read more

poem by Kesav Venkat Easwaran
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

E-mail My Heart

Forever...
Its been hours
Seems like days
Since you went away
And all I do is check the screen
To see if youre okay
You dont answer when I phone
Guess you wanna be left alone
So Im sending you my heart my soul
And this is what Ill say
Im sorry
Oh so sorry cant you give me one more chance
To make it all up to you
E-mail my heart
And say our love will never die (and I)
I know youre out there
And I know that you still care (I know you care)
E-mail me back and say our love will stay alive
Forever...e-mail my heart
I can see you in my mind

[...] Read more

song performed by Britney Spears
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

I don't want the giant ego. I don't want to become Kevin Costner, singing on the soundtrack to The Postman.

quote by Joss Whedon
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Viola Lee Blues

The judge decreed it, the clerk he wrote it.
Clerk he wrote it down indeed-e
Judge decreed it, clerk he wrote it down
Give you this jail sentence youll be nashville bound
Some got six month some got one solid.
Some got one solid year indeed-e
Some got six month some got one solid.
But me and my buddies all got lifetime here
I wrote a letter I mailed in the air, mailed it on the air indeed-e
I wrote a letter I mailed in the air.
You may know by that Ive got a friend somewhere

song performed by Grateful Dead
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

I wish everyone was a sci-fi geek because then there would be no violence in the world. There'd be no wars. There'd only be people e-mailing each other.

quote by Claudia Christian
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

I don't believe in email. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up.

quote by Sarah Jessica Parker
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Please Mr. Postman

(georgia dobbins/robert bateman/william garret/brian holland)
Oh yes, wait a minute mister postman
Hey, hey, hey, hey mr. postman
Just a little bit soul
Clap your hands just a little bit louder
Clap your hands just a little bit louder
Stevie wonder and fingertips
Yes
Gladys knight & the pips
The four tops
Martha reeves & the vandellas
The temptations

song performed by Diana Ross
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

To England

There are no postage stamps that send letters
back to England three centuries ago,
no postage stamps that make letters
travel back until the grave hasn't been dug yet,
and John Donne stands looking out the window,
it is just beginning to rain this April morning,
and the birds are falling into the trees
like chess pieces into an unplayed game,
and John Donne sees the postman coming up the street,
the postman walks very carefully because his cane
is made of glass.

poem by Richard Brautigan
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

I have had nothing to do in any way, shape or form with the mailing of these anthrax letters, and it is extremely wrong for anyone to contend or suggest that I have.

quote by Steven Hatfill
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Hope

The spirit killeth, but the letter giveth life.
The week is dealt out like a hand
That children pick up card by card.
One keeps getting the same hand.
One keeps getting the same card.
But twice a day -- except on Saturday --
The wheel stops, there is a crack in Time:
With a hiss of soles, a rattle of tin,
My own gray Daemon pauses on the stair,
My own bald Fortune lifts me by the hair.
Woe's me! woe's me! In Folly's mailbox
Still laughs the postcard, Hope:
Your uncle in Australia
Has died and you are Pope,
For many a soul has entertained
A Mailman unawares --
And as you cry, Impossible,
A step is on the stairs.
One keeps getting the same dream
Delayed, marked "Payment Due,"

[...] Read more

poem by Randall Jarrell
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Eight O'clock

Eight o'clock;
The postman's knock!
Five letters for Papa;
One for Lou,
And none for you,
And three for dear Mamma.

poem by Christina Georgina Rossetti
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Amar Singh, A Political Middleman

A political middleman,
Other's weakness is his greatest strength,
Trusts only himself
And likes to be trusted,
A political commission agent,
Helps others bail out of their problems,
On hefty commission,
He is adept in the art of making wrong
A perfect right,
He is loquacious, And people take delight in this habit,
First he saves himself,
And then growls at others,
A perfect baldy and short man,
But ranks himself among film stars,
He is favourite to the star of the millenium,
Who is extremely cautious about his image,
But I am sorry to make out
In what way he(Mr. Bachchan) will be able to save his image
In the company of a middleman,
He(the middleman) has hitherto been able to save himself,

[...] Read more

poem by Mohammad Akmal Nazir
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Many of my e-mails have been maliciously taken out of context, another effort by those assaulting my career.

quote by Jack Abramoff
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Internet mailing lists are like Fox television shows. They have really cool previews, and they get you all excited about them, but they just don't live up to their promises.

quote by John Dobbin
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

The postman wants an autograph. The cab driver wants a picture. The waitress wants a handshake. Everyone wants a piece of you.

quote by John Lennon
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!